I am the type of girl that is very skeptical about love and trust me the Holidays help with that... Its not really something that I have had much luck in…. AT ALL.
My first love was…um. Not a smart choice. I would not even call it love as much as puppy love. I was way too young and I thought he was everything I wanted and more…. WRONG! I didn’t even know what I wanted me to be, forget what I wanted- some nappy headed boy and yes his hair was nappy…lol
Second, the Red Head. Really that’s all that needs to be said about him. We were separated by sex and racism before we could really get started, but I believe there was genuine love there. There was on my side.
Since the wonderful choices before I grew distant to the idea of love and after watching enough black and white movies, I really grew sick of it.
Then one day, in possibly the worst outfit that I have ever worn, I walked in a room and set my eyes on the most beautiful man I have ever seen in the front of the room. I was stopped in my tracks, I could not move from the place I was standing. When the meeting was over I was introduced to him and shortly after I left…it really was the worst outfit ever! Ha
I have seen the movies where there is a couple that is very obvious from the start. When the guy looks at the women she feels like she is the only person in the room. Like in Pride and Prejudice when Elizabeth is dancing with Mr. Darcy and everyone in the room vanished.
I had never experienced when a guy looks at you and you lose every train of thought It is really is kind of magical - it is also one of the great moments to be Black, easier to hide the blushing!
Yes, its just another guy and No, I don’t even know if he is interested. But that is all okay. It is refreshing to know that the presence of another person can make you feel like a million bucks- doesn’t mean when he leaves I am less.
This guy didn’t open my eyes to love, it wasn’t that simple. The Lord softened my heart to the idea a whole year before this guys showed his face. It was good reassurance- the Lord is faithful in that area.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Harmony in it's simplest form
Have you ever looked outside your window and thought… “ You know, the leaves on the trees just don’t match, something doesn’t look right?” I can be almost certain that that has never happened and go on a limb and say that will never happen.
The Lord talks all the time about his name being glorified and His presence known by the splendor of Nature. There is a message in Nature that the Lord Himself stands for- Oneness, Unity… Harmony.
I could never, ever again see myself going to a church that is full people that look like me. Not saying I don’t love black people, because I love people. I do not, however, believe I can live life to its full potential only knowing, meeting and communing with people that look like me, or who agree with everything that I have to say or do things the same way that I do them.
God created all of the differences in people for a reason. He said himself that we all make up the body of Christ- there is a head and a foot, we can’t just have heads or just foots.
I went through a time of very hard personal struggle. I thought that I was a racist. I am very attracted to white a guy… that is just the way it has always been for me. For awhile I started to think that the reason I don’t like black guys is because deep down inside (and it wouldn’t have been that deep) I was racist against black guys. This upset me, a lot. I know what it’s like to be shunned because of my race, gender, age. I was upset that I was contributing to that kind of blatant hate.
As I was praying and thinking about this, the Lord opened my heart to a new way of thinking. Maybe He created me in a way that I am naturally attracted to people of different races. That is not a bad thing, it’s a quality that the Lord has given me and hopefully, for my future children’s sake, there is a guy out there who God created the same way.. lol
But as we were talking about the Unity and Harmony of Christ and the way He created things and us. There is something that is so Divine about a biracial couple. Two people usually different backgrounds, different families and different experiences coming together in the Sanctification of Marriage. There is nothing more beautiful to me then holding that hand of someone whose hand looks a little different.
This is Harmony in it’s simplest form.
If you have not experienced this, please just go hold that hand of some with different pigmentation than yours- it enters you into a different world.
Harmony is only possible with the true presence of the Holy Spirit. Something our fallen world, with it's fallen people, cannot create on its own.
The Lord talks all the time about his name being glorified and His presence known by the splendor of Nature. There is a message in Nature that the Lord Himself stands for- Oneness, Unity… Harmony.
I could never, ever again see myself going to a church that is full people that look like me. Not saying I don’t love black people, because I love people. I do not, however, believe I can live life to its full potential only knowing, meeting and communing with people that look like me, or who agree with everything that I have to say or do things the same way that I do them.
God created all of the differences in people for a reason. He said himself that we all make up the body of Christ- there is a head and a foot, we can’t just have heads or just foots.
I went through a time of very hard personal struggle. I thought that I was a racist. I am very attracted to white a guy… that is just the way it has always been for me. For awhile I started to think that the reason I don’t like black guys is because deep down inside (and it wouldn’t have been that deep) I was racist against black guys. This upset me, a lot. I know what it’s like to be shunned because of my race, gender, age. I was upset that I was contributing to that kind of blatant hate.
As I was praying and thinking about this, the Lord opened my heart to a new way of thinking. Maybe He created me in a way that I am naturally attracted to people of different races. That is not a bad thing, it’s a quality that the Lord has given me and hopefully, for my future children’s sake, there is a guy out there who God created the same way.. lol
But as we were talking about the Unity and Harmony of Christ and the way He created things and us. There is something that is so Divine about a biracial couple. Two people usually different backgrounds, different families and different experiences coming together in the Sanctification of Marriage. There is nothing more beautiful to me then holding that hand of someone whose hand looks a little different.
This is Harmony in it’s simplest form.
If you have not experienced this, please just go hold that hand of some with different pigmentation than yours- it enters you into a different world.
Harmony is only possible with the true presence of the Holy Spirit. Something our fallen world, with it's fallen people, cannot create on its own.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Church Mingling
Yesterday I decided to visit a church that I promised to visit about two years ago.. I figure it’s never too late to follow through on a promise.
The First Congregational Church. This is a church like I have never seen before. When I first walked in the door a man by the name of Mark welcomed me and asked me if I wanted a name tag! (Simple, but that makes things much easier and it helps you remember people’s name- I did walk around with a name tag on all day because I forgot, but whatever!)
The church was had an ocean like back drop and ocean like sheets on the floor in a path between the two podiums. In the middle of the path was this wonderfully crafted wooden table that said… “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave,e free; but Christ is all, and in all.”, the Scripture from Colossians 3. As I was looking for a seat in this uniquely arranged room of chairs, when a black lady that is dressed in an robe that matches the path on the floor and the back drop of the church walks up to me and says, “ Is this your first time with us?” Of course it was and it obviously looked like it!
She introduced herself as the Pastor of church and introduced me to some people and they asked me to sit with them. It was a very, very strange meeting, well to me. I was scared to walk in at first because there were A LOT of old white people and they had “Sunday Dress” on. I had on blue jeans and long sleeved shrist, but when I got inside I noticed that the congregation was very mixed racially and in dress, including many gay couples.
I was sure once the lady got up I was going to be in something like a colt…
They had a scripture reading and the other Pastor, who was also a women, but white, got up and gave a message about giving; it was smooth and it was true.
The thing that I love most about this church was the spirit was so Zin, which I’m not sure that is the word I should use to describe a church. However, there was a huge since of community. They did a lot of things for Memphis and a lot of stuff for the people of the church. People can be so worried about the City their church is in that they forget to feed and care for the people of the church. You have to have balance to do either one effectively.
I am not sure how I feel about women Pastors. This is something that I have been struggling with for a very, very long time. I do not know where I stand on it. Do I think women will to Hell for teaching The Word of God…NO. There are a lot of things that we incorrectly that we will not go to Hell for, only by the grace of God. I also do not know where their stance is on Homosexuality. I do not think that is right, but I do not think we should shun Homosexuality either. We are suppose to be loving and accepting- not of the sin but of the person. Loving and caring for them as we would anyone else.
We need to be at a place where we understand people who are different from us, that way we can pray for them in the most effective way and then let the Lord take care of the rest. He did not ask us to judge, he did not ask us to condemn, but to only show His love- He will take care of the rest. I believe I will visit this church again, I believe there is a lot that could be learned through creating relationships with this congregation.
The First Congregational Church. This is a church like I have never seen before. When I first walked in the door a man by the name of Mark welcomed me and asked me if I wanted a name tag! (Simple, but that makes things much easier and it helps you remember people’s name- I did walk around with a name tag on all day because I forgot, but whatever!)
The church was had an ocean like back drop and ocean like sheets on the floor in a path between the two podiums. In the middle of the path was this wonderfully crafted wooden table that said… “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave,e free; but Christ is all, and in all.”, the Scripture from Colossians 3. As I was looking for a seat in this uniquely arranged room of chairs, when a black lady that is dressed in an robe that matches the path on the floor and the back drop of the church walks up to me and says, “ Is this your first time with us?” Of course it was and it obviously looked like it!
She introduced herself as the Pastor of church and introduced me to some people and they asked me to sit with them. It was a very, very strange meeting, well to me. I was scared to walk in at first because there were A LOT of old white people and they had “Sunday Dress” on. I had on blue jeans and long sleeved shrist, but when I got inside I noticed that the congregation was very mixed racially and in dress, including many gay couples.
I was sure once the lady got up I was going to be in something like a colt…
They had a scripture reading and the other Pastor, who was also a women, but white, got up and gave a message about giving; it was smooth and it was true.
The thing that I love most about this church was the spirit was so Zin, which I’m not sure that is the word I should use to describe a church. However, there was a huge since of community. They did a lot of things for Memphis and a lot of stuff for the people of the church. People can be so worried about the City their church is in that they forget to feed and care for the people of the church. You have to have balance to do either one effectively.
I am not sure how I feel about women Pastors. This is something that I have been struggling with for a very, very long time. I do not know where I stand on it. Do I think women will to Hell for teaching The Word of God…NO. There are a lot of things that we incorrectly that we will not go to Hell for, only by the grace of God. I also do not know where their stance is on Homosexuality. I do not think that is right, but I do not think we should shun Homosexuality either. We are suppose to be loving and accepting- not of the sin but of the person. Loving and caring for them as we would anyone else.
We need to be at a place where we understand people who are different from us, that way we can pray for them in the most effective way and then let the Lord take care of the rest. He did not ask us to judge, he did not ask us to condemn, but to only show His love- He will take care of the rest. I believe I will visit this church again, I believe there is a lot that could be learned through creating relationships with this congregation.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Would you pay for a Prostitute
If you don’t know, I am a person passionate about injustice. I believe that I and people like me can change the world- following the will of the Lord, “The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.” Prb 29…and it is God’s will that we become the righteousness of Christ, that is why He died for us.
That was a little rant… that someone needed to hear!! Lol
One injustice that after I heard about was ingrained in my thoughts was Human Trafficking. Human Trafficking it the selling and moving of people for profit or gain, it is modern day slavery. One major from of trafficking is Prostitution. Yes, it happens everywhere, down the street from you, down the street from me and through every countries airport.
I am working with an organization called Operation Broken Silence, which to me is one (if not) the best nonprof ever. Ha, but I am a little bias. We have three focus areas: Modern day slavery, Genocide and the Water Crisis. S.A.F.E , Slavery Abolition Freedom Endeavor , is conducting an research, collecting data to get an idea of the of the amount of prostitution…or “escorting ” services here in Memphis and the amount of people traveling to Memphis for the purpose of prostitution.
This study will create a number for Memphians that will show that this is something that is happening right here, right now. To do this study the information is documented from a website. Date of the posting, phone number, advertised name and age and an ID number given to the poster…like an ID number of an item on Ebay. Each person involved in the study is give a day to collect post and document them on a doc sheet to keep the information together.
My day there is a lady name Brooke, whether that is her real name is debatable, but that’s all I got. Brooke is a heavy set women and very beautiful. I remember the first time I went to gather her information- I was sadden by her beauty and her line of business. I think about the say that bigger women can sometime be treated and how that could have them feel and I wonder, “ Is that the reason she is in this business?” It is quite possible that the reason she is doing what she is doing is because she wasn’t told she was beautiful or good enough for something better by the people around her.
As the weeks went on she continued to post and I would continue to think about her all the time. I would pray for her while I was driving, while I was lying in bed- thinking of the horrible things she might be going through right then- in my neighborhood, Wolfchase/ Germantown.
Then one day I get on to collect information and she wasn’t there. I tried not to think about it but the next week the same thing. I have just about driven myself insane thinking about the things that could have happened to her. Maybe she was beaten to death, or she as killed by one of her costumers. Or maybe she wasn’t an independent worker and her pimp has done something to her. Maybe she ended up in Jail. Maybe she got out of that horrible situation.
Every day I pray for her and sometimes I wish that I had 200 dollars and was able to act upon the urge, that I had more than once, for an hour to tell her she is beautiful and that I love her. That there is hope and even though it doesn’t look like it- God is always there, always watching and always working.
Remember, in this business there things are not as they seem. Remember to pray for the things that go on in our city and in our world that are wrong- Remember the people who need your prayers.
That was a little rant… that someone needed to hear!! Lol
One injustice that after I heard about was ingrained in my thoughts was Human Trafficking. Human Trafficking it the selling and moving of people for profit or gain, it is modern day slavery. One major from of trafficking is Prostitution. Yes, it happens everywhere, down the street from you, down the street from me and through every countries airport.
I am working with an organization called Operation Broken Silence, which to me is one (if not) the best nonprof ever. Ha, but I am a little bias. We have three focus areas: Modern day slavery, Genocide and the Water Crisis. S.A.F.E , Slavery Abolition Freedom Endeavor , is conducting an research, collecting data to get an idea of the of the amount of prostitution…or “escorting ” services here in Memphis and the amount of people traveling to Memphis for the purpose of prostitution.
This study will create a number for Memphians that will show that this is something that is happening right here, right now. To do this study the information is documented from a website. Date of the posting, phone number, advertised name and age and an ID number given to the poster…like an ID number of an item on Ebay. Each person involved in the study is give a day to collect post and document them on a doc sheet to keep the information together.
My day there is a lady name Brooke, whether that is her real name is debatable, but that’s all I got. Brooke is a heavy set women and very beautiful. I remember the first time I went to gather her information- I was sadden by her beauty and her line of business. I think about the say that bigger women can sometime be treated and how that could have them feel and I wonder, “ Is that the reason she is in this business?” It is quite possible that the reason she is doing what she is doing is because she wasn’t told she was beautiful or good enough for something better by the people around her.
As the weeks went on she continued to post and I would continue to think about her all the time. I would pray for her while I was driving, while I was lying in bed- thinking of the horrible things she might be going through right then- in my neighborhood, Wolfchase/ Germantown.
Then one day I get on to collect information and she wasn’t there. I tried not to think about it but the next week the same thing. I have just about driven myself insane thinking about the things that could have happened to her. Maybe she was beaten to death, or she as killed by one of her costumers. Or maybe she wasn’t an independent worker and her pimp has done something to her. Maybe she ended up in Jail. Maybe she got out of that horrible situation.
Every day I pray for her and sometimes I wish that I had 200 dollars and was able to act upon the urge, that I had more than once, for an hour to tell her she is beautiful and that I love her. That there is hope and even though it doesn’t look like it- God is always there, always watching and always working.
Remember, in this business there things are not as they seem. Remember to pray for the things that go on in our city and in our world that are wrong- Remember the people who need your prayers.
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